my future...(?)

a few yeas ago  athought i would be a genius scientist but all that ended up cuz  i'm a mess, and my life turn into a mess a bis one, u know(?) ... all my frieds have alll their future thinking and i'm just flying just like a bird that only want to fly away.. and when my friends tel me their brightly future i jsut get more and more depressed is not that i love pain, but  i'm their friend and if they're happy then  i'm happy for them........... but then......  when i 'm all alone i just figure it out that i'm lost and i need help....